Re-arranging

My Heart and Other Things...

I have a monster of chores stacked against me right now.

We decided to flip our living rooms;

make the former television room a sitting area

and the previous study a man-cave.

My husband now has the room of his dreams - 

big screen,

oversize sofa,

vinyl collection and

guitars all around him.

I now have a piano room,

a place that we are not yet sure how to use,

but think we need to entertain and at least let people sit and look at how pretty it is.

This weekend I had another blow-out with my mom. I was on my way to visit her when an unfortunate verbal exchange took place and was overheard by my to-be-sister-in-law. 

Long story short: I wanted my mom's attention,

was calling her on my way to visit her and she was blowing me off on the phone because she was with my aforementioned sister,

I yelled, (in the mature twenty-something manner that I do),

 "I am your daughter, not her!"

Jenny heard.

She cried.

I cried.

Mom cried.

Everyone freaked out and it was this huge ordeal.

I went on to visit, 

but just wanted to go home.

I have pent-up anger and resentment towards my mom about some past issues.

My comment really had nothing to do with sister-in-law-to-be;

it had everything to do with me.

I called my aunt and tried to get her sympathy. She told me that I should never say anything that I do not want other people to hear. She did not give me the answer and the "oh, it is okay" that I wanted.

All goodness is restored, but it was a bitch of a day, that Saturday.

I've got to move the jealousy out,

re-arrange my heart,

forgive my mom for our beef,

not let innocent people be crushed along the way.

Forgive me, Jenny?

I hope so.

Forgive you mom?

I hope soon.

Love you both.

Love, Sarah